US Mennonite Brethren

A letter to North American Mennonite Brethren

 

To my brothers and sisters in the U.S. and Canada:

I am writing to express my deep sorrow and sadness over the pain and hurt which I have caused to the Mennonite Brethren Conference, to the churches, to you, my sisters and brothers, and to the ministry of the kingdom by my actions while serving as president of MB Biblical Seminary. I have broken your trust in me and have betrayed so many of you who were friends of mine and supporters of the seminary. I am saddened beyond words by my actions.

While serving in this position, which had been entrusted to me by the church, I became involved in the sin of adultery that led to separation from God and from my marriage. After some time of concealing that sinful activity, I felt compelled by what I believe was the Spirit of God to confess my sin. This led to my termination at the seminary and a subsequent period of brokenness and the beginning of the path of restoration.

Gordon MacDonald, in his book Rebuilding Your Broken World, refers to people like me as broken-world people. Certainly that describes my state. I have been broken in several ways, including in my spiritual life, in my marriage and in ministry.

I have confessed my sin to God, to my wife and family, to my colleagues and to the leadership of my church. I have asked for forgiveness from each of them, and now I want to ask for forgiveness from you, my friends and fellow-pilgrims in the Mennonite Brethren church. My actions have hurt you and have hurt the ministry of the seminary and our denomination.

The person betrayed most of all has been my precious wife, Shirley. The hurt and pain which I have brought to her are indescribable. I have violated our love and broken the trust which had sustained us for all of our marriage. The grief which I have brought into her life and the sadness which she now experiences are beyond words. She had entrusted her life to me and that trust has been torn apart. I cannot undo what I have done. I pray that God will rebuild our relationship. Each of us has sought counseling, and we look to God for healing in our marriage. Our prayer is that by the hand of God our union will emerge strengthened. Shirley has been beautifully grace-filled as she has ministered the Spirit of Christ to me in her forgiveness of me and her commitment to work at the restoration of our marriage. I am so grateful for her love and encouragement to me. She truly is a treasure.

I have made myself accountable to a group of men who walk this path of recovery and restoration with me and who guide me in the process of moving forward. I am deeply thankful for their grace as well. They have been appointed by the Board of Faith and Life of the Pacific District Conference. I meet regularly with this group, appointed by the BFL, for reflection, guidance and accountability.

The road to recovery is long and very difficult, but by the grace of God I hope to move forward. I am grateful for the prayers and expressions of support which I have received from many of you. Thank you.

I write to ask for your forgiveness, if you can feel the freedom to give it. You need not communicate with me personally. I don’t expect that. But I want you to know of my repentance and of my desire to please the Lord.

In Christ,

Jim Holm